My long-suffering mother

Mum was hospitalised early this week on Monday early morning 5 am. It was another one of her episode of fighting with fatigue that came with penumonia, lung infection and chesty coughs full of phelgm. This time, there was a concern that she could not talk or respond really well and she has been choking on her food for the past few days before she took the cough syrup and became drowsy for half a day. Stroke was the chief suspicion. 

Life in and out of hospitals, regimental dialysis of blood, three times of week, that has been the lifestyle of my mum since she was diagnosied of renal failure in 2003. In fact, she was diagnosed too late and they caused her many complications and she was bed ridden for more than 6 months. Mum has been a strong survivor in adversary conditions of her health. In the worst moments of  her health, she fought the strongest battle, she would not give up. God has been merciful to her and to us, granting her another opportunity of living, again and again.

I got my thinking cap on, and I am thinking :

When it comes to my turn, will I be that strong ?

What happens when mum gets really tired and giving up and how soon is that day ?

What happens to  dad when mum leaves him behind for her glorious home ?

What is it that cause God to bless one with long life but in poor health ? Is God responsible for this ? I doubt it. 

I do not think I have a defnite answer to these questions. I do not know the reason for her triumphs again and again and I do not know how long is this going to be. Seeing her weak, frail and sickly is sad and it seems she suffers a lot. But, between her and her Maker, I believe there is a purpose for her suffering, only God can  make sense of the sufferings. God has definitely grants my mum the desire of her to stay longer despite how bitter and painful her body is giving her. God has a purpose to allow her to be with us, a little bit longer, day by day, month by month.

Ever since mum fallen really ill in 2003, we have stopped planning holidays as a family. Dad has hardly been to any away-from-home trip. He only went few times away due to church group visitations. Otherwise, dad would refuse to travel with us, leaving mum behind. I guess, this illness makes us children realise how deep is his love for mum which we thought was non-existence when we were younger, given that they quarrelled quite a fair bit. Growing up, I thought I had quite a miserable family life, that my parents were not that loving to one another, occasional spells of quarrells were norm of the days. 

Little did I know, most families if not all, have their own set of problems, some got resolved (like ours), some went separate ways (parents divorced or separated right after the kids grown up), some fell apart (children against parents). Ours is considered quite an Okay family, We are still quite united as one front when we experience any problems !

Since young, I remember mum as a strong lady of purpose and intentions. She did things purposefully. She and dad worked really hard to bring us up and saved every cents for our purpose. We could attribute her renal failure to her poor health choices. But being poor, she did not have most of the luxury we are having today and she would have tasted very little of fast food. Yet, she has gotten sick again and again.

Lessons I could learn from my mum are :-

• Life is unpredictable, handle it with grace. One really do not know what is to become of us in the near future or distant future.
• Portion of our grace matches the needs of the day that we have. This is sure promise of God. He will provide the portion of grace to overcome our problems.
• Don't give up on life until God asks you to give up, then we know it's time to go home.
• Not all questions have answers on earth but in heaven, we will understand why.
• Cherish life moment by moment. You cannot have life at the larger picture, you can't have it all.  But for each precious moment, treasure it.
• Health is a personal affair, everyone has his or her stage and issues. Each is to fight his or her own battle in health.
• In sickness and suffering, God is still there with us, holding us in His palm and protecting us.
• Guardian angels work the hardest in hospital where one battle for life and we are utterly dependent on the doctors and nurses to make the right decision to make us alive.
• When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. In the deepest pit and hardest moment, we rise up the strongest.
• Family is the most important thing in life; everything else we have and do are secondary. Therfore, we must give our family life priority in this community.

I love you, mum. You are a life-changer for our family. You set us on higher ground. You live for us to live in full while you emptied yourself for our sake.