Christmas without mum

Missing a person is a continuous tense. You miss her all the time, most of the time and somehow it is impossible to forget her. This will be the first Christmas without mum. We could almost feel that she is still around, giving suggestions and ideas on menu and gifts. We feel that she is part of us, among us. Just that she is invisible to our eyes but we all can feel her in our heart.

I will miss mum for every festive seasons. She is the anchor for festival celebrations for our families. In fact, she used to be the life of the family parties in that she planned, financed, shopped, cooked, entertained and made sure all were included and had a good time. Her menu was a long list. She could cook up a storm in no time. Sometimes she enlisted my Aunt Tsin to help and most of the time, she cooked alone. There was a period, dad would cook his famous Beef Rendang dish, the award winning dish, famous among the BCCM KK congregations !

Even when she was ill and unwell, she remembered to remind us to celebrate. Even when she could not eat much, she still wanted us to have certain food ready. It is difficult to grow up not liking food in my household. It is hard not to be hospitable when you have been trained by your own mum to show endless hospitality. She is almost like a goddess of hospitality. She never thought about her living room as too small to entertain certain number of guests, she could count on overflow to the car porch. She never thought of protocol and what happened when a VVIP showed up and we did not have a proper sofa seat for him or her. She never really worried about the food was not good enough for certain VVIP guests. To her, she entertained from her heart, her passion and her best.

So, this is the first Christmas without mum, there is a sense of soberness in the air. In honour of her, I have asked my kids to tone down our Christmas decorations in our home. We picked White as our theme and we tried not to put up too many. The results was great. We all like it. Simple and White. Not too elaborate.

I remember the cakes she would ask me to prepare so that she could give them to her friends, nurses and doctors who looked after her. She even suggested to pay me for those gifts and I would declined as it is only right to bless those who have blessed her so much.

And so, mum's Christmas Legacy and Traditions linger on in our family, to us as Children, we miss after celebrating Christmas with her for the past 40 plus years. For dad, it is a void that nothing can fill as he missed her after 51 years of Christmas celebrations. For a memory like this, I will drink to it. Cheers, mum, we all love you very much. You are just part of us. Your legacy will live on within us.

Christmas 2015

~ 525 Words

Letter to Mum

My Dearest Mum,

I miss you and think of you often. I still cannot completely grasp the fact that you are gone and no more here with us. Your presence is still so real to us. The last good bye and last conversation was still fresh in my mind. In my busy moments, sometimes I recall how I have missed seeing you more frequent. 

When you were sick and less mobile, meeting up and seeing you have to be very intentional. Even though we live in the same city, seven minutes car journey and we are not always able to meet more than once a week. It  has to be a very intentional effort to go and see you. I need to keep my schedule to include visiting you and yet very often, things got crowded into my time and took my opportunities to see you. It was very clear that I did not make that a priority to have you close. 

When I did go and visit and meet with you, I often did not do a good job. I felt most accomplished if I have bought you a gift or food that you were pleased with. You were such a dear, everything could make you happy, well almost, there were moments I bought the wrong food that you rejected. But more often than not, I would see you by sitting in a distance from you, watching you closely from the sofa chair. I did not know why I did not sit next to you and chat and feel you. I guess it was painful to see you in a bad shape or your colour not so bright. I refused to see you like that, I wanted to remember you when you were well. But alas, I was fooling myself, actually in those weak moments, that was when you missed us the most and when you needed us the most. Yet, I was too blinded to understand that. 

I still call you "Mama" and think of you. I call you with love from within, knowing that I have owned my life to you for carrying me for nine months and I gave you a long labour when I got stuck in the birth canal for a while. You have been a great mum for us all. You were a pioneer and an achiever who would not settle for anything second best. What you could seemingly achieve, you will strive for it. You did not wait for opportunities to show up, you created opportunities for things to happen. That made you a super mum and we were a most fortunate bunch of children.

Sometimes in the silence of the night, there was a stir among the cats, dogs barking, I thought I could feel your presence close. Just a wishful thinking that you have come back to visit us. As impossible as it seems, you were very near to me at those times. 

I just want you to know that we are coping well and we are trying to take care of dad. Dad has been recovering from the grief of losing you. He was traumatised for days and weeks when he lost you. Initially, he kept forgetting that you have passed on, he still remembered that we should bring food to you in hospital as he realised that you were absent from the house. He could not remember your last moments and was really disturbed to think he could have missed saying good bye, being there at your final moments and doing all the funeral for you. He cried really bad and he cried out loud. He grieves like none other because he grieves afresh each time he forgot that you have passed on and he mourned and cried like he just knew it. In a day, he could have such fresh grieving for more than 7 times. How painful it is to see him to be in such a state. 

My dearest Mama, I know that you have been holding on longer than more patients in your state, just because you wanted to be with dad and us. You put dad's interests first and you willingly endured the suffering of dialysis three times a week for 12 years. 

I am sorry that I did not go into the house when I reached your house on the Monday 28 September  7:30pm before I left for KL conference. I saw that the gate was locked and I did not make an attempt to go in. I am sorry that when your heart stopped on 1 October, I was not at home and not there for you. I am sorry that after you were in coma, I saw you for a while and then left for Brunei to bring Elliot for exam. I was sure that you would let me do that for his sake. I am sorry that after my Brunei trip, I was only able to be with you for a whole night on 3 October and then on Sunday, I took a long nap and was too tired to stay with you in the hospital. I only returned at 10:15pm with the others to pray for you and then you left us at 11:28pm. I did not expect you to go so soon. I was expecting to say a few group good byes to you in the next few days. Everyone saw that you were suffering and we were in agreement to ask God to stop your pain. 

Today is the 20th day since your passing on the 4 October. It seems like just yesterday and it has the illusion of a dream. I wish you well with Jesus and I know you are fully well, released from the world's burden and care. Did you know that we have visited your grave twice, once on the 3rd day and the other on the 10th day which was a Awal Muharram holiday. We brought your favourite Lilies each time we went. 

I miss you, Mama. I love you, Mama. Please pray for us from heaven. 

Love,

Ah Tyng Moi

Your Daughter

That's What Faith Must Be - By Michael Card

My friend, Genevieve from Singapore posted this song in Whatsapp for my Newcaslte CCF group. I Checked out the song and lyric and found Michael Card's songs are very unique and Biblical Centric. I like the way he does the music and sing out Bible verses. 






That's What Faith Must Be - By Michael Card

This Song entitled "That's what Faith must be" reminds me the core center of Faith.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeqLV46NVUk

To see with my heart
To hear with my soul
To be guided by a hand I cannot hold
To trust in a way that I cannot see
That's what faith must be

When the universe fell from His fingertips
He decided he wanted some fellowship
But the man and the woman would not submit
So He made a better way

When the moment was right, He sent His own Son
And He opened the way so that everyone
Could have hope and believe that when time was done
He'd be able to make us one

Now I understand that there is a key
It's Jesus in me a reality
That God is in Christ and that Christ's in me
That with faith I see what is unseen

Grieving after mum's passing

During the Funeral Service, Elliot, my eldest son having a last farewell with grandma, Daryl be the last one to say Good Bye to her.

Nothing could prepare us for eventual separation from death
No matter how sick, how ill, how demanding taking care of the sick
We would rather have our loved ones with us for another day, another hour
Not everyday on earth is a day to celebrate
As our loved ones become sick and dying bit by bit
How does one prepare to die ?

No one tells us that grieving is more than crying
The heart torn apart in the midst of pain

The mind racing to search for treasured memories

We ache in thoughts we had not done enough

Ignorance, negligence, we should have done more

How to make peace over this ? 

Death forces us to bide good bye

A cruel reality that we shall meet no more

When tomorrow comes, we can't greet Good Morning

When night falls, we can't say Good Night

We start to miss what we take for granted

How do we bide permanent farewell ?

Every little thing reminds us of our good times

We call to mind what have been said

Such wisdom, so candid, so unforgettable

Death makes all these into memories

Rainbows, rains and darkness make our memory more intense

How can we ever forget ? 

At the end of sobbing
At the end of crying
With every tear drops

With every tissue

Every grief is unique
Special to the person we miss

A Million Dollar View

A Million Dollar View from my tent on the sand, as I lay on the sand, I realise how precious is this moment, I have a plot of land my own, soft breeze, blue sea and clear sky. 

My mum - the Lily of the Valley

Lily of the valley has the flower meaning of humility, chastity, sweetness, purity and is said to bring luck in love. It also means "the return of happiness" which is the reason why it is often used as decorations in weddings. Convallaria majalis or lily of the valley usually bloom in the month of May. This May flower is also known as the May lily. The alternate May birth flower is the lily of any variety. Lily of the valley is native to temperate areas of Asia, Europe, and North America, where it grows naturally in woodland settings.


"Lily Of The Valley"

I have found a friend in Jesus, He's everything to me,
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul;
The Lily of the Valley, in Him alone I see,
All my needs to cleanse and make me fully whole.

In sorrow He's my comfort, in trouble He's my stay,
He tells me every care on Him to roll;
He's the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star,
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul.

He will never, never leave me, nor yet forsake me here,
While I live by faith and do His bless'd will;
A wall of fire about me, I've nothing now to fear,
From His manna He my hungry soul shall fill.

Then sweeping up to glory to see His bless'd face,
Where the rivers of delight shall ever roll;
He's the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star,
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul...

Written by George Jones

Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Once in a while, there is a song that came to be, it sounds just about right, the truth rings in your head and it spurs you into actions. This is one of such songs. From the first time I heard of it, I just knew this is a keeper. The lyrics just open a whole world of meaning to whoever needs a little boost :-

Here is the song - Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Instrumental by Piano Guys in Scotland. 

Lyrics:
Like a small boat,
on the ocean.
Sending big waves,
into motion.
Like how a single word,
can make a heart open.
I might only have one match,
but I can make an explosion.

All those things I didn't say
wrecking balls inside my brain.
I will scream them loud tonight,
can you hear my voice tonight?

This is my fight song.
Take back my life song.
Prove i'm alright song.
My power's turned on,
starting right now my i'll be strong.
I'll play my fight song.
And I don't really care if no one else believes...
Because I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Loosing friends and I'm chasing sleep.
Everybody's worried about me.
In too deep.
Say i'm in too deep.
It's been two years, I miss my home.
There's a fire burning in my bones.
I still believe, yeah I still believe.

All those things I didn't say
wrecking balls inside my brain.
I will scream them loud tonight,
can you hear my voice tonight?

This is my fight song.
Take back my life song.
Prove i'm alright song.
My power's turned on,
starting right now my i'll be strong.
I'll play my fight song.
And I don't really care if no one else believes...
Because I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Like a small boat,
on the ocean.
Sending big waves,
into motion.
Like how a single word,
can make a heart open.
I might only have one match,
but I can make an explosion.

This is my fight song.
Take back my life song.
Prove i'm alright song.
My power's turned on,
starting right now my i'll be strong.
I'll play my fight song.
And I don't really care if no one else believes...
Because I've still got a lot of fight left in me.
Now, I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Here is the original official music video for the song : Fight Song

It is a perfect song for patients who are fighting for their lives in hospitals and this one lucky boy was visited by Rachel herself at his hospital bed.

This got even better when the Piano Guys decided to do a Cover Scottish Style and mixed with Amazing Grace, the result is absolutely beautiful and I could listen to it again and again. Here is their story behind the cover. I love the Instrumental Cover by Piano Guys, set in the Highlands of Scotland. The bagpipers and drums all make the song very dramatic. 

This is the Piano Guys' story for this cover from http://thepianoguys.com/portfolio/fight-song-amazing-grace/

When we first heard Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song” we were inspired by its message. In a world where we too often talk about our differences, we have at least one thing in common. We all struggle. Not in the same way, nor at the same level, but we all want a fighting chance. And we all share in one gift: The will to make the most of our lives. To take what we’ve been given and turn it into something better could be considered the sentient measuring stick of success. But to do so seldom is simple and more often requires we fight. Not against each other. But against the current threatening to drown the ambition in us.

There is tremendous purpose in struggle. It is when the struggle becomes so fierce that we must fight to swim or sink. John Newton, who penned “Amazing Grace,” worked on a slave trader ship and condoned inhuman atrocities. It was when his ship was on the verge of being torn apart in a violent storm when he called out for Grace. When his feet were once again planted on firm soil he determined to change. His covenant was written into these words,

“I once was lost, but now I’m found; was blind, but now I see.”

Grace is the defining moment when we face and fight a monster poised to define us or destroy us.

This song and video for us was a struggle, but a beautifully defining one. We chose the Scottish culture to depict the dichotomy between Grace and struggle. Who else is tough enough and yet delicate enough to don a kilt in battle? And the Scottish pipe and drum are the ultimate conveyors of melody and cadence. One represents Grace, the other the indomitable fight. Our dream was to film one of the most iconic castles on the Earth, Eilean Donan Castle in Dornie, Scotland.

Grace somehow made this video possible. We had to postpone our trip to Scotland several times, and when we could no longer postpone we had to leap in faith because just before we left everything had fallen through. It wasn’t until we were in the moment and had to let go of our pride and anxiety when everything Gracefully came together. We want to give special props to Paul. When the drone capturing our aerial footage took a nose dive into the frigid waters surrounding Eilean Donan, he took one for the team and jumped in after it, heroically saving the scenes you are seeing today!

From our youth we’ve been taught that when faced with insurmountable, unthinkable odds, we cheerfully do all that lies within our power, and then stand still with the utmost assurance to let fate, destiny, karma, or to let God do the rest. It isn’t easy, but every time we have an opportunity to practice it we get a little better. We’ve found, as John Newton discovered, the closer we get to the furnace of the affliction the more our obstinance and pride burns off revealing the best way to win a fight in ourselves is to let Grace fight the battle instead.

We recognize that this video is far less important than a fight for one’s life. We hope this music will serve as an anthem for those that are in the fight of their lives. We have people close to us who inspire us every day with their grace in the face of such a struggle. This video is dedicated to them: The superheroes in our lives that don’t wear capes, but wear a smile under villainous pressure — those that have been through so many defining moments that they are intimately acquainted with Grace and know it be close cousins with hope. They know that when they can’t fully understand the purpose of a struggle, they instead recognize that knowing there is a purpose is enough. We pray that “Grace will bring them safety through.”

Finally, we feel grateful and we’d like to say, with John Newton, “When we’ve been [here] ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise than when we’d first begun.”

A Sunrise Journey to the Mount Kinabalu - Day Trip

Living under the foothill of Mountain Kinabalu makes us a special people group, a people that is spoiled for nature's glorious manifestation. Imagine living next to a huge mountain that towers almost to the sky, it is an icon, we could see it from afar. We see the sun and moon plays around the  mountain, sometimes the moon forgot to go away after sunrise.

We made a Sunrise Journey up to the Mountain on a public holiday, just to spend some few hours enjoying the cool mountain and also the HotSpring.

 We started at 5 am from Likas Jaya and the sun was just rising. It was a glorious morning. 

 Morning has broken, like the first morning.

This was my first trip to the Mountain after the 5 June earthquake, I could still see the scar on the Mountain.

A visit the Mountain is incomplete without a trip to the Hot Spring at Poring for a spa bath, even if just for the feet spa. The kids had a great time of cold and hot dips. They were in the water for like 2 hours.

A Father's Prayer by General MacArthur for his son

We parents are wonderful doing so much to labour and toil for our kids' studies and welfare. I am reminded by a great General 's prayer for his son that we need to be mindful of their excel in characters than exam results, their courage to face's life adversities than success in life, their compassion to standby the less fortunate than cruise along with the rich and famous. May this be a prayer for all our kids too. Here is goes:-

In the early days of that war and campaign, Gen. MacArthur acknowledged his dependence on a Heavenly Father when he composed “A Father’s Prayer”:

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee — and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. 

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously.

Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

Then, I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.'”

Amen.

Indeed, May the Lord helps our sons and daughters. Amen. 

Youth's Call for Entitlement

Youth's Call for Entitlement

Spaces you need, lots of it, bigger blocks, chunks of it,

Confined to a room in hall lies your ticket to freedom

Bound by the rules of the hall is your starting point to grown up life

Having your own bank account is your start to financial planning

But then do you know that your desire of privacy space pushes us away

The spatial spaces of your private room in a hall is your living space limits

The rules and laws calls for discipline and responsibility of grown up world

The bank account is just your privileges out of hard earned savings.

Youth is calling for independence, freedom and privacy space

Youth is trying to claim their entitlement

To what they think belongs to them which they should use up

To what they think is the utopia of transcend into young adulthood 

To what they think is one of their last major draw out before they reach maturity by law

But what is entitlement that they think they can claim ? 

What could they possibly claim as if the world owes them something ? 

What parents should release to them that is our own now ? 

When as  parents gave birth to you, you are our child

When we care for and nature you, we are parenting you

When we set rules and restrictions, we are disciplining you

When we tell you life stories of our family, we are coaching you 

When we repeat grandpa folk tales to you, we are telling you the family legacy

When we plan to give you the best of education, we are preparing to build your own career

When we give you financial support, we are supporting you while you learn responsibility

When we give you until we have no more, what remains is our love for you.

When you reach 18 and then finally 21, you learn to grow up

With your own room, you have to be responsible for it

With privacy space, you have to cope with loneliness

With living on your own, you have to learn communal sharing with others

With your own bank account, you have to plan to live sensibly

With your living away from home, you have to learn rules and laws

With living on your own, you are responsible for your health

With your daily routines, you have to set out your very own self-discipline

Your entitlement is your birthrights as our child

As your parents, you have our love forever

As your parents, we will coach you like nagging

As your parents, we will provide for you from limited finances 

As your parents, we will discipline you with boundaries

As your parents, we are not immortal

And when we are gone, we hope you find your legacy to live on

The day you start living for yourself you understand what entitlement really means

Footnote :-

How this came to be ?

I had a good sharing with Jane and Yong about youth and the challenges of youth keep claiming entitlement in our family lives. I wrote most part of this while waiting for Jane to make her new pair of spectacles. 

Brentford, 12 September 2015

Lessons from The Emperor's New Clothes

"The Emperor's New Clothes" has been one of the fairy tales that stuck in my mind since I first read of it as a child. It is not one of my favourites because of the obvious. Such a silly story, and I was pretty sure it would not happen in real life. It has left a deep impression on a child's mind. It has been a moral compass in my life warning me about the price we pay for our vanity. To my mind, the emperor has paid a high price for being vain. He became the victim of his own vanity and greed. He finally became the worst public humiliation. How could one make so many mistakes, one greater than the other until he was in public shame ? It was a story that I labelled as "Exhibit A - Do not follow his way of doing" and it is definitely hanged in the Hall of Shame so that I do not fall prey to such stupidity.

As I grew up and starting to work, I realised that there are such "emperors" around us. They thrived on people's fake praises and went on thinking all is ok just because a few of the team members are Yes Men. In the corporate world, this has become a catch phrase for colleagues to dare one another to challenge the bosses' ideas which may be folly or unsound. Whenever the top management proposed something that do not sound right, do we have the guts to stand up and tell them directly that it will not work or we just join in the band wangan to support the management when we know that we are lying that it will be a success. It be a challenge among colleagues who are sincere to post the question "Who is going to tell the boss that this may become the case like the Emperor's New Clothes?"

It turns out that we can have a few good lessons learnt from this fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes" and they all serve as good reminder of how life should be :-

1. Never trust your subordinates to do things for you entirely. You should delegate but supervise and be very involved.
2. Be engaging with all your support lines. They will tell you the truth, listen to them. After all, they cannot be jealous of you, they are from a different league.
3. Stake is high for trying out new things. How willing are you to bear with it ? What is the cost to pay for being the first to achieve something ? It is worth the risk ?
4. Be weary of Yes men who praise you too much for they could just be fake towards you. Everything they say or do to you is a lie. Watch out those who support your back, they may fail you sometimes.
5. In case of doubt, seek for wise men's opinions. I am sure there were wise men in the kingdom but the king did not ask them for their opinion. He decided to trust his own judgement.
6. Vanity is a very costly deal. 

The saddest part of the story was the ending, despite the little child in the crowd alerted everyone that the king was indeed not wearing anything glamourous that only the clever people could see, he decided to carry on the parade while in naked mode. How sad. once the truth is out, one does not choose to listen.

From Bad to Worse

What do you say when you see things getting from bad to worse ?
Say nothing and suffer quietly ?
Take the anger to Facebook and Twitter ?
Some days are just bad days
When the Economic is bad
All Businesses suffer badly
The poor really has nothing to eat
The rich has to tighten the spending
These are days to endure, they will pass
Brighter days are coming
surely no matter how slowly
The brighter days belong to those who can wait


What can you say when things get out of hands ?
Something that you cannot control.
Something beyond your reach.
Some days are getting from bad to worse.
You watch with helpless dismay
As the drama unfolds into worse nightmare
Every episode getting worse than before.
Predictable evils proceed to be winning.
There are days to pray and grieve
We must resist the evils
No matter how bad
The hopeful days belong to those who can preserve


Some days we made it to the world news
Not once or twice but many times over
The nations speak of us in disbelief
We are made mockery of a great crime
Many have empathy towards us
We have been violated and shamed before the nations
Our voice has become dim
Our cry is not audible
We mourn in silence
Like the lambs led to slaughter
We die a quiet death
These are the days we fight our war

Today our eyes have seen the wicked doing evils upon others
Today our ears have heard the anguish cry of the people
Today we read the impossible evils schemed and executed
Today we bear witness to the suffering of people hurting people
Today we know evil face to face, biting our face and leave us to bleed
Today we endure the sufferings brought about by greed
When will we say enough is enough and fight back ?
When is our silence to end ?
When can we speak out and be heard ?
When can we be united and resist as one ?
When is the time for vengeance?
When can justice be served ?

Top Priority Things to do to prepare Child to leave home for studies

Lately, my mind is divided among many priorities. At work, between projects, negotiations and deadlines. At home, tuition for schooling kids, preparatory works for the ones leaving home for further studies. On  health, giving my kids Vitamin C to fight common cold; visiting aging parents who are seriously ill and bed ridden. The list can go on. So many things to accomplish, so little time and deadlines are imminently close ! 

I thought I pen it down what are the key priority things to do to prepare our young adult kids to be ready to leave home and to help them to set up a new living quarter thousand miles away, functional, livable and fun to overcome the lonely winter homesickness. I am more fearful that they will miss home than they don't. If they do not miss home, if they could totally gel in to the new home, that be a relief ! But, looking at  how they have been brought up, groomed by parents, pampered by the maid, they will surely miss home big time ! That is my greatest fear if they do not know how to live on their own at this tender age of 17 or 19  years old.

In my head, here is the Top Ten To Do list for preparation to leave  home but in real life, it cannot be fulfilled just like that. So here are the Top Priority of Things To Do :-

1. Talk Deeply with the child - We have to talk with them the new life to begin, we have to walk through with them the new lifestyle beginning with the  mental picture. We need to set the moral compass to point to true "north" so that no matter what happens, they can follow their hearts home and find their paths back to us, their loving parents who supply beyond their materials needs. We also need to set the boundaries of things, the finances, relationships, religions, principles, what we hope they can uphold. At times, we sound like nagging but half of the times we are begging. He is bearing our family name and upholding our family honour as he goes forth to make a new life in search of knowledge. 
2. New Items just for for him - The excitement of starting a home-away-from-home boils down to getting those essential new items just for him. The list can be personalised but it has to be comprehensive. Here are some items we are buying for them. Rice Cooker, Laptop, Tablet or Ipad (bring over current one), Smart Phone & Camera, Bed Sheets, New sets of Luggage (3 in 1 package), Maggie mee by the box, special stationary to last a year, Jackets and warm clothing,
3. Survival Home Cooking Recipes - How to make the Rice Cooker a magic pot, cooking a hundred dishes out of it. Teens' Survival cooking has to be taught. They will miss Asean food and they must be able to cook a few local dishes to bring to International events or just to create wow factor for any gathering.
4. Financial Preparation - dad's paper works has to be in order. The full cost has to be made known to the child, what are the obligation of parents and what is expected of him. Nowadays, University does offer scholarship based on marks, eg 70% will give 40% discount on the course fee, it is very desirable to let the child aim for that.  
5. Saying Goodbyes - Making note to relatives especially the elderly is very important and we should make time and take time to create memories for them. This could be their last good bye to some of the elderly relatives. We just have to check this out as completed.
6. Set the academic goals with them - Tell them how long is the course, what options are there after the graduation, do they want to work there or come back immediately, do you want them to come back soonest, if they choose to work there, what grades they must achieve, they should not be naive about it. For sure, they will only keep top students to work there. The rest to be sent home. Whether there is enough budget to embark on Post graduate studies, Whether they are required to help finance the younger siblings in the future. All these and more, need to be discussed and spelled out what are our parental expectations from this academic pursuits. 
7. Connect him to the local people as much as possible - They are going to a foreign land and thousands miles away from home. They can survive as lone ranger but they will enjoy their stay more if we could connect them to some local folks who are our friends or from church contacts. In case of emergency, at least the local people are closer to them than us. 
8. Set the living budget with them - with the high cost of living, we need to discuss how to objectively achieve lodging and food to be below 5000 or 7000 sterling pounds a year. We need to give them a figure per week which they should aim to maintain. What is not spoken is often take for granted and neglected as not important, so its best to spell out what is the weekly budget for living and to work through how to maintain the budget. Should they need some extra money, they should consider working on weekends or summer holidays so that their holidays are paid by themselves.
9. Connect them in Social Media prior to Leaving - Create family Whatsapp Group, Facebook private group so that we can maintain contacts as family members. The connection should be done while they are still here. Learn to have virtual discussions with them. The Gen Y and Z operates in the things of Internet and their life is in social media. Teach them what to post and what not to post in Internet. Be connected to them in FB, Whatsapp, Instagram so that you be the first to know what they post in social media.
10. Let them know how deep is your love for them - We need to articulate the price we are willing to pay out of this deep for them. Yes, education can cause mum and dad an arm and a leg but we will still do it, Although we are not perfect, not all sufficient but we will provide to the best of our ability ! Bear in mind though, there is a limit to our resources but no limit in our love for them. No matter what, they are still our children, our kids, forever in our heart. 

Story of my feet

My feet have seen quite an assorted arrays of days in my lives,
They have seen the best of me
They have seen the worst of me
In any case, they have carried me through, quite literally, all my days
I am ever grateful for my strong feet
From the day I started crawling, they have been active for my sake.
From the day I started walking, they have been there for me.
I could not have gone to the places that I have visited
I could not have walked the earth where I left my footprints
I could not climbed our prestige Mountain Kinabalu a total of four time !
My feet is my one solid assets on earth.
They gives me stability and strength
They hold my body together in one piece
They gives me speed and freedom to roam or run
They let me swim in the water, free as fishes

I can't thank my feet enough for my colorful life

They play a mega part in my life

I owe it to myself to take good care of my health

To reduce the stress I give to my feet

Although they may be deformed due to age

I must take good care of them

Never give up to keep doing good exercise routines

It's never too late to start a health regime

The whole body and me will benefit through and through

19句话震撼句子

This is a repost from internet Chinese Website, these quotations in Chinese are amazingly crisps and sharp. 
My favourite are No 1, 3, 7, 15, 16
Most funny are No 3, 6
高人19句话震撼全中国 只看1句就晕了
【第一句】被恨的人没有痛苦，恨人的人却终将遍体鳞伤，所以，绝不去恨人。
【第二句】缘分是本书，翻得不经意会错过，读得太认真会流泪。
【第三句】不同傻子争辩，否则就搞不清谁是傻子了。
【第四句】学历是铜牌，能力是银牌，人脉是金牌，思维是王牌。
【第五句】成功的人不是赢在起点，而是赢在转折点。
【第六句】钱有两种：花掉的是钱，是财产；没花掉的是〝纸〞，是遗产。
【第七句】把脾气拿出来，那叫本能；把脾气压下去，那叫本事。
【第八句】简单的事重复做，你就是专家；重复的事用心做，你就是赢家。
【第九句】长得那么美那么帅气，自己却不知道，这就是气质；那么有钱那么有才华，别人却不知道，这就是修养。
【第十句】管好自的嘴，讲话不要图一时痛快、信口开河，〝良言一句三冬暖，伤人一语六月寒〞，说话要用脑子，敏事慎言，话多无益，不扬人恶，自然就能化敌为友。
【第十一句】没有爱的生活就像一片荒漠，赠人玫瑰，手有余香，要〝学会爱别人其实就是爱自己〞，让爱如同午后阳光温暖每个人的心房。
【第十二句】多去理解尊重别人，常怀宽容感激之心，宽容是一种美德是一种智慧，海纳百川是多么广阔，感激你的朋友，是他们给了你帮助；感激你的敌人，是他们让你变的坚强。
【第十三句】这个世界，有两件事我们不能不做：一是赶路，二是停下来看看自己是否拥有一份好心态，好心态是一生的好伴侣，让人愉悦健康。
【第十四句】人情，人情，人之常情，要乐善好施，长于交往，〝平时不烧香，急时抱佛脚〞是行不通的，所以，〝人的情绪要储存〞，就像银行存款，存的越多，时间越长，红利就越大。
【第十五句】遇事不要急躁。不要急于下结论，尤其生气时不要做决断，要学会换位思考，大事化小、小事化了，把复杂的事情尽量简单处理，千万不要把简单的事情复杂化。
【第十六句】学会知足，人生最大的烦恼是从最没有意义的比较开始，这世界总有不如你的人，也总有比你强的人，当我哭泣我没有鞋子穿的时候，我发现有人却没有了脚。
【第十七句】如果敌人让你生气，那说明你还没有胜他的把握，根本不必回头去看咒骂你的人是谁？如果有一条疯狗咬了你一口，难道你也要趴下去反咬他一口吗？不要太在乎别人的咒骂。
【第十八句】别把工作当负担，与其生气埋怨，不如积极快乐的去面对，当你把工作当作生活和艺术，你就会享受到工作的乐趣。
【第十九句】人活着一天，就是有福气，就应该珍惜，人生短短几十年，不要给自己留下更多的遗憾，日出东海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不钻牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦。

My Most Favourite Things

My most favorite things :-

• Cup of tea or coffee
• Nice bowl of fresh salad
• Fresh smell of good food
• The unlikely green smoothies
• Smell of  freshly baked cake or bread
• Successful recipes
• Coconut with the flesh
• Coconut pudding in the shell
• A crisp toast
• Dumplings soup
• Ice blended feel
• A bowl of ABC with ice cream

• Presents in tiny boxes
• Ribbons of all sorts
• Upcycled things
• Bells of all sorts
• Sofa couch
• Laying on the beach on shady day
• Smell of thick books
• Sight of a map

• Birds chirping
• Smell of grass freshly cut
• Dogs or Cats playing
• Dip in the cool river
• Raindrops on my window
• Rainbow in the sky
• Mountain Kinabalu near or far
• Waves on the beach
• A nice get-away 

Good grief, I just realised it, I am so Chinese, its almost all about food ! 

Yes, when I feel sad, when I feel down, I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad  !

My Favourite Things (In The Sounds of Music) 

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

Read more: The Sound Of Music - My Favorite Things (maria) Lyrics | MetroLyrics