Tears of Being Taught by the Lord

I do not always hear the Lord speak directly to me. I seldom hear His voice calling me. I read His Word and He spoke to me through His Word, that would often be the case. His Word is sufficient for me and although sometimes I yearn for a clearer message directly relevant to the various cases or situations but His general wisdom be sufficient for most cases.

However when he did speak, I often heard Him conversing in Hakka to me. That one time when I realised that I just understood Him in Hakka, I had a melt down because He called me by the name only my parents called me when I was a little girl. In fact, they stopped calling me like that anymore. It was a really shocking discovery.

I am in a season of being taught by the Lord. I seek Him and I expect Him to teach me as I am really at lost with what to do in the current season.

I remember laying on bed and asking the Lord to review what I am supposed to do (and this round it is in English):

Me : Lord, would you impress upon me a word on what you like me to do in this situation ? I really like a "divine moment" like how you helped me link up with Lego contact to resolve the launching problem.

Lord : Learn from me, learn to be vulnerable.

Me : Lord, you are the Prince of Peace, King of Kings, you are all powerful. You are not vulnerable.

Lord : But I emptied myself and made myself vulnerable. Remember Christmas ? I came as a baby, how vulnerable was that ? 

Me : But why this lesson of vulnerability for me ? I do not think I deserve to bend over backward like this to make myself vulnerable. Its totally no control what would happen to me.

Lord : Exactly the lesson. Learn from me. It is time for you to learn this. I brought Lego to you to resolve your problem that day because you were willing to make yourself vulnerable and asked for help. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is strength emptied so that you will come out stronger and taller. 

Needless to say, I really struggled for days on this. I cried out loud in protest for the lesson is too hard. I kept asking why should I learn this. 

When I googled "Jesus being Vulnerable", the following Bible verses came out and I had a good cry reading them. 

James 1:1-27 

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ...

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I love this sharing by Susan H Lawrence, read it few times and it is still inspirational to me. 

https://purepurpose.org/2012/12/10/jesus-is-vulnerable/

Susan H Lawrence wrote about Jesus is Vulnerable :

"Jesus, vulnerable? As deity, Jesus is powerful and knowing, which seems to raise an impenetrable wall against any vulnerability, yet without vulnerability as a man, Jesus never would or could have fulfilled his purpose in God’s plan for our lives. Jesus had to become vulnerable in order to be the Savior who sacrificed himself for us to open the path of a relationship that invites us into eternal life with God. To be vulnerable is to be capable of being wounded, physically or emotionally. Being vulnerable involves being open to attack or damage. Jesus was certainly vulnerable.

Vulnerability isn’t about what others can do to us; it’s about what God can do in us. When we’re vulnerable in God’s presence, he can fully work through us. Vulnerability requires yielding, trusting God to provide whatever protection we need. It might not be what is comfortable to us, but being vulnerable to God and in his care is a less vulnerable place than standing in a place of rationalized personal strength and protection but exposed more than we care to admit."

I want that Lord, to be under your protection, trusting that you will provide the protection that I need. I like to forgo my own rationalised personal strength and self-protection. I await what You can do in me when I allow myself to be vulnerable.