Parenting is hard because sometimes you will be appraised on the spot by your own kids. Out of no reason, they may scream and shout,refuse to cooperate, throw their tantrum, challenge your decision,c all your names and the list can go on. When this happens, it is wise to calm down and quickly assess the kids situation and ask yourself four basic questions and save your parenting dignity ! It comes in an acronym "HALT" to mean Hunger, Anxiety, Lonely and Tiredness.
First, check if they are Hungry. A hungry man is an angry man. This saying holds true. Somehow hunger causes our kids to be frustrated and any hunger pang is exaggerated. In any outing or travelling, it is good to have some snacks ready especially when they are younger. The younger they are, this hunger issue is real. Just think of how babies cry when they are hungry! It is very often the cause of tears and screams. You will observe, generally, right after a good and happy meal, kids are more teachable, for a little while. So you could have just finished Dim-Sum and driving home, perhaps that is the best time to discuss the upcoming tuition timetable provided it does not provoke vomiting due to violent objections from the kids.
If hunger is not an issue, take time to find out if they are Anxious about something. The things that a child is anxious about is totally real to them and it must be resolved. You could be on the way to tuition and the child is anxious about the tutor's expectations and how he could fail that subject. May be he is getting anxious of his pimples and losing his self-esteem. Driving is a golden time to discuss things and issues. Inside a moving car, it is the next best time to talk compared to the "Pillow-Talk" time. So seize the moment if your child opens up his anxiety to you. Do not disregard it as childish, Spend time to reassure them of your parental assessment and affirmation that it is okay no matter what.
"Are you lonesome my dear ?" could be a question to ask our kids. In the midst of the classroom full of kids; on the dance floor of jumping kids; in a bus-load of youth outing; and yet for some reason, our child could feel Loneliness. Loneliness is not the absence of friends surrounding us. It is the lack of like-minded friends, buddies who understand, who will stand for us. Doing things alone takes the joy of the doing. Loneliness, sometimes is a measure of their self-worth. Generally, poor self-image kids will feel loneliness more. They tend to isolated themselves away from other kids.
Lastly, know that when they are Tired, it is futile to discuss anything significant or life-changing topic. Typically, at the end of school day, at the close of the tuition class, when they come out of exam hall, the kids are worn out mentally and physically. If coupled with hunger, that be a worst scenario. But, there are times, right after they wake up, they still feel tired due to burdens of thoughts, bad dreams and so forth. Silence seems to be a sign of fatigue. The best tip to handle tiredness is just to let them sleep and rest. It is of course best if food is offered first.
Here are the golden questions of parenting. Get them right and detect them fast, you will be in control most of the time. This is how you raise well-mannered kids who will carry out the routines of the day with a happy mind. They will be more obedient and obliging kids. It will also save a lot of heart-acne, avoiding and cutting bad moments from parenting.
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