Ten useful tips to know about delivering a baby

This blog post is dedicated to my dear friend, Christine and her husband for the impending joy of awaiting the arrival of their first bundle of joy. As I watch her grow into this pregnancy, so much thoughts and emotions have been brought to my mind about my own pregnancies, yes, a total of four pregnancies ! For me personally, nothing in this life could compare to that special nine months of carrying a child within you wherever you go and yet, the world has expected us-expecting mothers to behave as normal as a man. 

So, I put together my best offered tips for the delivery of her first-born, all ten of them, and may she finds some comforts and joy to know that all these will soon come to pass and once it is over, it is often shelved and not mentioned but never quite forgotten.

1. Packing the baby and mummy bags, it is possible to pack both in one bag however you should bear in mind that the nurse may have to go through your bag for you when they bath your baby for the first time. So, it is better to have a smaller baby bag for baby stuff unless you do not mind her going through your personal stuff. Here is a good suggestion.
2. Have a mind the Birth Plan, it is to be a mental picture of how you want the baby delivered. In some countries, you write the Birth Plan down and discuss with the doctor and nurses prior to your delivery. It should entails the worst case scenarios and options of your choice. Some ideas to think through are painkiller jape before delivery, cut or no-cut just before birth, epidural or GA if it is Cesarean delivery. Read about it here.
3. Plan your Confinement Month, don't let it just happen and you will end up watching Indonesian TV series with your confinement lady or maid ! If you are working, you could plan to getting in touch with work after two weeks by just answering selective emails and writing some reports. Better still, if you could do personal retreat to think through and plan about your new family, your career path options, your future time management. Not so much about baby yet because for many years the baby will be stuck with you but you have to move on from here. The issue of having a Confinement Lady or just your mum with the maid, it is your call and your choice. Think carefully. Plan your meals and don't just like others plan for you.
4. Checking into the hospital should be treated as if you are going on vacation or retreat, you plan what clothes to wear and bring a good camera because your baby's first photo in life will have your clothes on it for life ! As tempted as it is to wear your man's baggy basketball jersey, make sure what you wear in the delivery room and the hospital stay are comfy, practical, tear-proof and looks good on photos. You should discuss with your mum or husband what is the first meal to be like, likely porridge and fish or just chicken soup. It is mainly because you do need to have a little bowel movement before you could go home if you stay at the hospital for a few days and you do not want to  have constipation during recovery time, that will be too painful. 
5. Bring a book, OK, I am old fashion, for each of my child, I selected a simple book with short stories to read, I remember I brought a book on Friendship stories, that kept me entertained, light reading, something to keep my mind of what is going on. Electronic devices for social media is probably good but I feel they will stress you up even more. This is a private and sacred moment for you, your body and your baby. During First Stage Labour and before going into the delivery room, it could be anything from 4 to 6 hours or a day !
6. Ask questions and know what is going on, offer your opinion and expect them to ignore you but be sure to demand based on your instinct to be re-checked; you could turn down drugs offer when you have prolong labour pain; ask to empty your bowel movement so as not to embarrass yourself during delivery; demand that the doctor to check on dilation when you feel very heavy and like a giant bowel movement happening. I would tell them my previous records of delivery history; how I reacted to certain methods; etc. You can recall the delivery accounts you have read in books and blogs but realise that yours could be unique.
7. Pray for an uneventful delivery. Baby arrival and wedding are totally opposite events. You do not want too much events in baby delivery. Ask the Lord for a song to sing through in your mind and heart so that you are captivated and loose focus on your temporal pain. I had this song imprinted in my heart for the delivery of one of my child, to this date, I am still puzzled why this song, but it brought me into a deeper trust in God to be there for me and uphold me.
8. The right breathing method and the right mental frame of mind can make a huge difference as they can trick your body to think that the labour pain threshold can be overcome. This comes with practices and lots of reading up before hand about what is actually happening to your body in the final hours before delivery. It feels like an epic constipation and you just need to overcome it as it comes. Know the cycle of pain and that as you reach the peak of each cycle, you will be granted a short few minutes of deep-rest, kind of worn-out sleep, even though just for a minute, that is precious. 
9. Tell the father-to-be what you expect of him, engage him as much as possible. When you expect less, everything he does becomes a bonus. They are really clueless what is happening most of  the time. You said you are in pain, he is like OK, stomach cramp. He has no idea how painful that means. So be practical of your expectation.
10. In between First Stage Labour and final delivery time zone, there is this awkward hours or minutes that you really need to be "alone", just both of you with your midwife, because you are not yet in delivery stage but very close to it, that time zone, you should not have any visitor, unless it is someone you want to have. I would say mum or best friend is OK to have, all other especially the male species, is No No. If you suddenly feel seriously uncomfortable, just hint to your husband to ask them to wait outside or leave.

So, here are my best ten tips to share with you. I am not sure if they are all helpful but from the four pregnancies, these are the things that stood out to be important at that final hours
of delivery. Prepare your mind for it, picture the scene, do not loose heart, do not be afraid for you are an over comer !